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Sunday, January 31, 2010 9:21 PM

by: Cindy Eldina

Ps: Come on, guys! Post something ><

I was not interested in knowing more about it at first. All I knew was that the attendance was compulsory for all NPP students. When I woke up that morning, I did not feel like getting up as it was raining heavily outside with thunderclaps and lightning. But I knew I was late so I dragged myself out of bed for shower and hoped the rain would stop while I was showering.

It irritated me most when I had no choice but to walk in the rain to the bus stop. Fortunately, the rain had receded. However, from my knee down, my legs and shoes were inevitably wet. I waited in the bus stop and the bus did not come after 10 minutes. I started to feel worried as I was late for my session. In the end the bus came after I was waiting for almost 20 minutes. It was the usual one-hour-long journey to my school.

I was late for 15 minutes. I went to the receptionist and tell her my name. She directed me to the waiting area, so I waited there. I read from inside the glass wall, a phrase of inverted letters, “Dialogue in the Dark.” I heard about it a little bit. They said we would enter a room in complete darkness and would be guided by a blind person

Finally it was my group’s turn to go in. I was not so excited about it because I was imagining I would go into a big dark space with a blind person guiding me. I was entering the place with about 7 other people in the group. It was totally different from my imagination. I was going through a narrow long winded isle in the total darkness. We were told to follow the wall on our right until we reached Lukman, our guide.

We were following the wall on our left now and still, we were lost! We were calling out to each other’s name. We were given verbal instructions to do everything and our first reaction would be: “Where? I can’t find it! Lukman! Where are you? I’m lost.”

As we went deeper into the endless labyrinth, Lukman suddenly stopped us and called my name. I answered him and he asked me to leave the guiding wall on my left and come towards him. I gasped. Leaving the wall? No way! It was a total darkness and I did not know what was there before me. It might be a slope downwards or upwards. It might be rough or smooth. It might be dangerous!

“Don’t worry, Cindy. Just use your cane and leave the wall,” he instructed me.

I extended my cane and start to sweep the floor left to right, then right to left with shoulder length and start to step out of the line we formed, but still holding onto the wall. I became unsure as now I was about to leave my “comfort zone”. It was the wall that made me survive in that journey in the dark. Now he asked me to abandon it and trust him.

“Where are you, Lukman?” I shouted.

“I’m here. Just come towards my voice.”

I made a decision that moment, I would trust him. So I left the wall and I was on my own. I follow his verbal instructions and came towards his voice. I made it. I left the wall and overcame my fear. The journey continued and I found myself trusting him more and more. It was easier to trust all his verbal instruction than before.

And there he was, calling me for the second time to leave the group and come to him. It was no longer a hard decision for me to do it. I used my cane and I came straight to him. He caught my hand and led me to a place where he wanted the rest of the group to go. He told them to come towards my voice and I started to give them verbal sign to come to where I was. Now I became like him. I was giving instruction to others instead of getting instruction. And the tour went on until we were all sitting together, still in the dark room and started to chit chatting. When I was waiting for the rest of the group to get seated – because it was not easy for a group of ‘blind’ people to go and sit together, I had a revelation.

We may have eyes that see, but we just cannot see what is waiting for us in the future. Future is like a dark space ahead of us. Sometimes we can guess what is there by extending our hands and tried to scan our surroundings. We can also use our cane to find out what is on the ground. However, that was the only way to know what lay before us and we just cannot predict what is beyond that. I learned to trust the guide with all of me. I believed that he was the one and only whom I can trust because he walked that path before. I was not able to see him, but I realized that I did not have to see to believe. As I built my trust in him, it got easier and easier to trust him. And when the second time came when he tested my trust, I passed the test easily. Without thinking twice I came to him.

I need someone who knows about my future; someone who have been there before; someone whom I can trust with all of my heart, with all of my mind and with all of my soul to tell me where to go, how to go and what to do. And I am glad that I have found that someone: He is the Lord, my God to whom I have surrendered my life. Have you found yours?